Archive for the Friday Fuckery Category

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Friday Fuckery: Hipster Racism & Lucky 8′s China House

Posted in Appropriation, AUDACITY, Douchebaggary, Friday Fuckery, Hipster Racism, white ppl booshit with tags , , , , , on May 18, 2012 by Cbruhs

Hipster Racism seems to be getting a lot of attention lately — from Lindy West’s excellent Jezebel article to Kyria Abraham’s exasperating, self-serving response, to this very recent example of Orientalist food truck foolery.

We here at BCB are well aware of this epidemic (we created a “Hipster Racism” category for the blog in 2009) and are pretty happy about the general increase in dialogue about it.

So for this Friday’s Fuckery, we present yet another culprit: Lucky 8′s China House (seriously), a new chic restaurant in Seattle’s Capitol Hill area, owned by Bracey Rogers and his wife Marcy Akiyama.

CBruhs met some friends at this joint a few weeks ago, and was swiftly irritated by its overpriced cooptation of ethnic food, lack of any (visible, maybe they were in the back washing dishes) Asian staff, and in particular, an ironically mustachioed server named “Tiger” who announced in rather dramatic fashion that he was about to make a bike delivery (for examples of why this is problematic, contrast this with the unglamorous, dangerous, and sometimes fatal reality of real Chinese delivery men).

Last night, BCB friend Louie Gong went to Lucky 8′s China House and was similarly not impressed by the stereotypical decor: kung fu movies, a gong, a giant to-go box, and drinks like “Phists of Phooey” (you just don’t fuck with a Bruce Lee movie). Basically what he describes as “a cartoon version of Asian culture…like they turned an Asian-themed slot machine into a restaurant.”

After Louie paid, Tiger apparently noticed his last name on the credit card. As Louie was walking out, he heard behind him: “Gong….Gong?? Hey, Gong!?” He turned around, and Tiger had gathered the cooks, picked up a mallet, and then for reals CLANGED THE EFFING GONG.

Incredulous, Gong the person asked to take a pic for posterity. And ridicule:

For Louie, this was a delightful reminder of how kids would mockingly chant “Goooong!” during basketball games. So thanks for that, Tiger — and thank you Lucky 8′s China House for serving up another shining example that there really is no difference between “Hipster racism” and just regular ol’ racism.

photos by Louie Gong

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Friday Fuckery: T.G.I. Friday’s Korean Tacos

Posted in Appropriation, AUDACITY, Friday Fuckery, Just sayin', Om Nom Nom with tags , , , , on April 27, 2012 by Cbruhs

photo: T.G.I. Friday’s

We’ve all been goin’ ga-ga for Korean tacos over the past few years, from Roy Choi’s groundbreaking Los Angeles-based Kogi truck to Seattle’s Marination Mobile…and countless imitators. The latest of which is your favorite suburban binge-drinking office party spot, T.G.I.F.! Or, Thank Goddess It’s Fracking Time for Korean Tacos Hells Yes Hi-Five Brah!!!

If you want a little something extra to go with those Loaded Skillet (teehee) Nachos or that bowlful of Tuscan Spinach Dip (TM), these tacos are made with Black Angus steak and they’re served with Sriracha, ginger-lime slaw, cilantro, basil aaaaaand jasmine rice pilaf. Let’s just ram the whole of Southeast Asia and the Asian subcontinent in there for good measure — and kinda skip over most of the Korean ingredients thing…kimchi and kkakdugi smells may freak out the mall walkers, brah!

Regardless, I will probably still order this mess next time I’m by the Westfield. In mah belly, it’s always Friday (Fuckery)!

via Eater

Thanks Char!

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Friday Fuckery: Born Asian

Posted in All Class, Awesomeness, Friday Fuckery with tags , , on April 6, 2012 by Cbruhs

Just got this tumblr site Born Asian sent my way. I’m not too sure what the overarching theme is here, but I heart .gifs and I heart Asians, so there we go. Some of the entries are questionable, but the best content includes plenty of Gaysian shade and Mom side-eye…

“When white guys be all like ‘Ni Hao Ma?’”

“When a guy mistakes my ethnicity”:

“When I ride with mom”:

…and #1 in my book, Ajumma body rolls:

Add your own!

Thanks Char Char!

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Friday Fuckery: Angry Birds on the Needle?

Posted in Appropriation, AUDACITY, booshit, Friday Fuckery, Nerd Alert with tags , , , , , on March 30, 2012 by Cbruhs

If you are a child of the ’70s and ’80s, you may remember the psychedelic and slightly freakish Serendipity Book Series, written by Stephen Cosgrove and illustrated by Robin James. That was some real hippie shit. With over 60 books, popular characters included Flutterby the insecure unicorn, Serendipity the soul-searching pink lochness monster thing, and Muffin Muncher (too easy).

In 1974, the world was introduced to a huge, hairy orange blob…The Wheedle on the Needle:

Unlike the other sweet, vulnerable characters, Wheedle was one grumpy bitch:

Wheedle is a large, round, furry creature who lived in the Northwest. Bothered by the whistling of workers first settling the city of Seattle, the creature was unable to sleep and became irritable, eventually moving to Mount Rainier to escape the noise. The Wheedle slept there peacefully for many years, his red nose blinking, until the region’s growth brought people- and their whistling- to his doorstep once again. In an effort to silence the noise, the Wheedle gathered clouds in a large sack atop Mt. Rainier, returned to Seattle, climbed atop the Space Needle, and threw them into the sky to make it rain. With their lips wet from precipitation, the city’s residents were unable to whistle, and the creature once again had some peace and quiet.

So basically, Wheedle was responsible for Seattle’s shitty weather, and a hardcore environmentalist railing against the encroach of urban development. Wheedle also basically summed up the philosophy of Seattlelites: We’re glad you like it here. Now please get the hell out.

Shortly after the book’s publication, Wheedlemania was in full effect, and the Seattle SuperSonics employed Wheedle’s curmudgeony ass as a mascot during the championship era of 1978–1985. Wheedle also became a mascot for local news station KOMO-TV in 1993.

Sweet moves, Wheed!

Terrifying.

In 2004, the compilation Wheedle’s Groove: Seattle’s Finest in Funk and Soul 1965-75 was released, and currently a group of musicians from these original bands perform under the name Wheedle’s Groove.

But has the Wheedle’s position as Seattle icon and cranky king of The Needle been overthrown….by Angry Birds? Earlier this week, to promote the launch of the Angry Birds Space game, the Space Needle was turned into a 300-foot tall slingshot, brought to you by T-Mobile and Rovio.

photo: Rod Mar via Rovio

The only thing I know about Angry Birds is that it’s insanely popular, I suck at it, and I have a memory of being manhandled by a grown ass dude wearing an oversized Angry Birds t-shirt (unfortunate yet appropriate attire).

I’m not sure where Wheedle is right now, but this pretty much exemplifies his whole gripe with society.  I hope he’s out breaking off a chunk of Mt. Rainier to clamber up The Needle and pop that stupid ass bird with.

Wheedle 4EVA, son!

More enthralling Wheedle history here.

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Friday Fuckery: For the Love of Newsies

Posted in Awesomeness, Friday Fuckery, Happenins, HAWTNESS, Nerd Alert, true wuv with tags , , , , , on March 23, 2012 by Cbruhs

A preview of the much-anticipated Broadway production of Newsies recently aired on Good Morning America...and there’s an Asian dude, who gets considerable stage time! (Apparently there was a mixed Asian actor in the original movie — Kevin Alexander Stea — who played “Swifty the Rake”. I wish people still had names like that).

Newsies has a special place in American musical history, and in the hearts of many ladies of…a certain age. While many girls migrated to New York in the ’00s chasing Sex And The City fever dreams, me and my best buds were hitching our wagons to a brighter star: Newsies. We knew the words to every song and had no hesitation busting out a multi-part “King of New York” on the 6 train or screaming out “The Delancey Bwuddas!” when approaching the Lower East Side.

We shopped voraciously for newsboy caps and dessed as a gang of Newsies for Halloween — on multiple occasions — including that one year in Boston I spotted the one other guy at the bar also dressed as a Newsie and was convinced we were soul mates until his girlfriend the sexy nurse crippled me with her death stare. My Newsie friends were there to soothe my broken heart by whispering: Well, dat’s da foist thing ya gotta learn – headlines don’t sell papes. Newsies sell papes.

Which is why, even if I feel nothing could ever measure up to the original, I still plan to shell out a ridiculous amount of money to see grown ass men in short pants twirl around on papes. Especially that Asian newsie with the juicy butt.

For SooJooBa and Char Char (who recognized Kevin Alexander Stea as a Madonna dance captain and cast member of Naked Guys Singing. Yowza!)

Hey bummas, we’se got work to do!
Since when did you become me mudda?

Check out Jezebel‘s excellent take on Newsies here.

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Friday Fuckery: New Miss Seattle Is ‘Annoyed’ By Seattle

Posted in All Class, AUDACITY, Friday Fuckery, Inconsiderate-ness, please! with tags , , , , on March 16, 2012 by Cbruhs

Over the past couple weeks, the recently crowned Miss Seattle — Jean-Sun Hannah Ahn — came under fire for committing the most egregious sin in the eyes of native Seattleites…Complaining about the rain, gawdammit!

Less than a day after Ahn was crowned in March, a story broke about her very un-gracious online activities. Back in December, Jean-Sun had taken to twattering on the Twitter about Seatown’s glorious climate: Tweet No. 1: “Ew I seriously am hating Seattle right now… ” Tweet No. 2: “Take me back to az!!! (Arizona) Ugh can’t stand cold rainy Seattle and the annoying people.”

And the people stage-dived on her like she was a methadone/quad shot cocktail at The Comet Tavern. Ahn has since had to appear on numerous TV and radio shows to apologize for her foolery.

Guurrlll…I know you’re also a former Miss Phoenix and spent your undergrad at Arizona State, but if you’re gonna be Miss 206 you gotta be all: “Chilly and partly overcast drizzle with a 2% chance of sun break followed by moderate showers RYDE OR DIE!!” How you gonna claim allegiance to both the desert and the temperate marine climates? Sorry, but you ain’t no Missy Elliott. And in the words of the great Jimi: Castles made of sand fall into the sea, eventually. Or something.

If Ahn were true Seattle royalty, she’d just take a triple dosage of vitamin D and sit under a UV lamp, self-medicate in dank bars, and brood over what the point of life is anyway like the rest of us. DEAL WITH IT, GIRLIE. I demand a recount!

Source

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Friday Fuckery: Obama Booty Grab

Posted in All Class, Awesomeness, Creeptastic, Friday Fuckery, Hilarity, true wuv with tags , , , , , on February 17, 2012 by Cbruhs

While on a West coast fundraising tour, President Obama swung by unannounced to the Great Eastern Restaurant yesterday in San Francisco’s Chinatown to nab some takeout.

What ensued was a gaggle of ecstatic customers, a lot of handshaking, and a few old Chinese ladies partaking in a fistful of Presidential rumpus:

The expressions of the guy in the tan shirt and the Secret Service agent are the next best things about this photo.

Susan Walsh, Associated Press

That’s right, Chinese matrons appreciate a good ol’ rear squeeze as much as the next law-abiding, Buddha-revering civilian. But they have the cahones to do it brazenly in front of Secret Service, the American press, and their grandkids. And repeatedly:

Nothing woos a Prez like a flossin' COOGI sweater

Saul Loeb, AFP/Getty Images

Some onlookers will claim that such sweet seniors are virtuously bereft of all bawdy intent (or just short), but I say: THEY KNOW WHAT’S UP. If anyone is hip to using physical and social stature to honey badger through life — whither cutting in line at the bakery, running you over with a laundry cart, or taking the liberty to cop a patriotic feel, it’s your gangsta ass Ee Ma and Pau Pau. You know they’re gonna be bragging about their Mack Meemaw skills at the mah-jong table til next Lunar New Year.

Get some, golden gurls! I can’t wait til I’m an old Chinese lady and I can just grope with abandon, up to the very highest echelons of the American political system. Thus is the beauty and true meaning of democracy.

Cheers to Obama and the Granny Grab!

Thanks Sherilyn! – This seriously made my year.

source (and more heartwarming pics!): San Francisco Chronicle

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Friday Fuckery: How to Date an Indonesian Woman

Posted in Barf Me Out, Bitch please!, Creeptastic, Douchebaggary, Friday Fuckery, Old white dudes with hawt young Asian chicks with tags , , , on February 10, 2012 by Cbruhs

I’m not even gonna waste my time going into the infinity +1 reasons why this “secret how-to” video is all sorts of NO. Just have a squirt bottle of milk handy for your eyeballs to help flush the burning images of the shmarmiest, greasiest, leering-est douchebag to ever gaze directly into a camera and make you feel dirtier than finding your grandma’s vibrator.

“It’s TOO EASY”…”Know HOW and where to take her.” GAAAGGKK! Those shades! That permagrin! I snickered at first but I’m for serious puking right now. I thought Australians hated Asians? Apparently not enough to not stand unnecessarily close to one and coo in a low, breathy voice about “enjoying the best Jakarta has to offer”. It makes my bowels churn to know this exists.

Thanks Lou!

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Friday Fuckery: North Korean “Take on Me”

Posted in Awesomeness, Fo Yo Ears, Friday Fuckery with tags , , , on February 3, 2012 by Cbruhs

Think you’ve heard A-ha’s “Take on Me” so many times that you’ll gouge your eyeballs out next time it comes on in the frozen meats section?  Well, you can handle hearing it once more, especially because this version is pretty boss. Five North Korean students cover the iconic ’80s song and enhance it in the best way imaginable…with accordions.

Now if only they could star in their own pencil-sketch/live action music video:

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Friday Fuckery: Mitt’s Office

Posted in Awesomeness, Causes Worth Your Cash, Friday Fuckery, HAWTNESS, Hilarity with tags , , , on January 27, 2012 by Cbruhs

Here’s yet another reason why I want to wifey up boyish, bushy-browed Justin Long:

Hilarious, foxy, AND lending his talents to a progressive political organization? This is why I keep hoping that “Long” is really an Asian name.

Thanks Sherilyn!

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