VICE, king of all things hipster, recently traveled into the wilds of Siberia to film and talk to North Koreans in labor camps.
Dissatisfied with a government-sponsored tour of North Korea aka The Hermit Kingdom aka “the most fucked up place on Earth” — where he wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone outside of the official tour — Shane Smith and a fellow journalist decided to take the trans-Siberian railroad into the Russian interior to find people in North Korean labor camps and “see how they live”. The trip is graced with local Russian mobsters, plenty of vodka, and — as to be expected — royally pissed off North Korean officials.
They find that most workers are sent to the camps as free labor for 10+ years to cut logs that will eventually be exported to England, and to earn revenue for resource-starved North Korea. They live in dilapidated campers and barracks and work throughout the brutal winter and summer seasons. See what else transpires when a group of white dudes goes in search of shit they’re not supposed to see.
BCB favorites The Notorious MSG recently released another video, this time with an imperative message regarding your safety: The Dangers of MSG: First Aid for Rectal Prolapse.
As you may well know, listening to the ass-blasting tunes of MSG can wreak havoc on one’s lower intestinal tract. Being the considerate, honorable gentlemen they are, Hong Kong Fever, Down Lo Mein & Hunan Bomb graciously created this video to help you or a loved one minimize the damage:
Please note the Yellow Peril Dildo cameo in the lower left hand corner at 0:43 and 1:12. HOLLA! (Repeated use of the Yellow Peril can also contribute to lifelong rectal health and prevent such unfortunate accidents).
This Saturday, rising MMA star, actor, and San Jose native Cung Le will be playing his first UFC game, against Wanderlei Silva. I’m told this is a big deal. Like many other casual followers of the sport, I mostly enjoy the the finer aspects of MMA, like giggling and clutching my pearls when the fighters roll around and grapple with each other in a hot, sweaty, muscley mess. It’s so…sensual. Yes? Am I right? Guys? Yes?
Le is a former Sanshou champion (Chinese hand-to-hand combat), and is so badass he once broke a dude’s ARM with a kick. Plus, THAT HAIR. Swoon. So add some hot stuff to your weekend and feel your Asian, uh, pride swell when Cung kicks his opponent in the head.
Professional stuntman and martial artist (and one of BCB’s favorite people ever) Steven Ho will be making another appearance on Conan O’Brien this Wednesday. Steven has been putting Conan through stunt school, which has involved breaking bottles over Conan’s head and slicing open watermelon on his stomach (check out some highlights here). What will Steven think of next?!? A roundhouse kick to the nuts? Lighting Conan’s pompadour on fire? This stunt ish be cray-cray.
Be sure to tune into this epic showdown (and watch Conan confront his own mortality) Wednesday night on TBS.
This thought crossed my mind whenever a new Far East Movement video came out. Back in the day I would roll up to what I thought was a Mountain Brothers show a Far East Movement show on campus and see them perform looking like this:
Do you see the difference? Sure, these guys are my age older than your average new pop artist and probably need sunglasses to cover up all the wrinkles they accumulated from studying for the bar exam, but I’m gonna call conspiracy on this because that’s what BcB does. I’m gonna go right out a say it:
Publicists and Ad Execs are Putting Asians in Media, Print/Online/TV/Video, Only if They Cover Their Eyes Up with Sunglasses!
How sure am I of this theory? After my friend sent me this video of a Heineken ad because there’s an Asian guy partying with two white girls and another white guy, I was pretty sure about my theory. Sure the white guy has on sunglasses too, but he don’t have on some thick, dark Ray Ban lenses like my Asian brother.
You’re gonna call this a stretch, I know. But now that I’ve Incepted the seed into your brain, you’re gonna notice more and more Asian dudes on TV wearing sunglasses. And yes, I said Asian dudes because I don’t think this is happening to women. Just Google “Kelly Hu Sunglasses” or “Grace Park sunglasses” and you’re not going to find an official photo of either Asian American beauty in a magazine wearing sunglasses. Google “John Cho sunglasses” and you get this magazine photoshoot:
This shit screams Complex photoshoot based on the font alone
and this red carpet event:
John Cho's publicist in the limo with him, just before the red carpet, Shauna Roberts-Vinnie Chase style: "You better cover up them eyes John! Ladies don't wanna see John Cho the corner store grocer's son, they want Lieutenant Commander Harold Lee"
Conspiracy? Maybe. Pattern? Definitely. So either subconsciously, publicists in Hollywood and ad agency execs in Manhattan are setting up an effort to cover up our eyes. Or I’m being paranoid. Either way, don’t look at my Facebook page for further evidence, cause I’m wearing my Ray Bans or Asian Fit Oakleys in 80% of the photos… Paranoid.
I’ll admit it, I’ve thought about what my wedding photos will look like. Mostly because I’m obsessed with those soft focus, sparkly mantle-sized portraits that you see at every Chinese wedding — and I want that. I want to be wearing a Quinceañera dress and peeking from behind a tree at my betrothed and skipping along a rock trail in the middle of a stream while he holds my hand for balance — all with a Yuen Lui/Glamour Shotz treatment that makes the air look all fuzzy and magical and my teeth hella white.
So these wedding shots of Julian Sunmi Park and Benjamin Jinsuk Lee have really busted my silly little bubble…with AWESOMENESS. Check it:
Yes yes, appropriately and routinely romantical…but WAIT!
BEHIND YOU — EEK LOOK OUT!
GAAAHKKK!
WHAS Gonna Happen?! I’m tellin you, it’s a SAGA. There’s a bunch more photos, which I’m too lazy to upload, so just go here!
I’m a huge fan of The Walking Dead, but I had no idea it would translate so well in a wedding context! Now that my mind has been blown, I understand that there is a bigger, brighter future out there for me in the world of wedding photos. I think RuPaul’s Drag Race might make for an enchanting theme…May the best woman wii-i-iinnnn!
Just got wind of this incident which happened on Sunday in Columbus Park, in the heart of NYC’s Chinatown. In the video below, NYPD violently arrested a 60-year-old Chinese musician (you can clearly see blood on his face) amidst protests from the crowd of mostly Chinese seniors.
You can see the white officer also threaten an elderly man with mace and lash out with a baton screaming “Shut Up!” at the Cantonese-speaking crowd.
Unfortunately, a friend who works for A NY Asian advocacy organization told me that this latest arrest is not an isolated incident, but part of an increasing trend of harassment of Asian seniors at multiple lower Manhattan parks. Enough is enough. Please help put an end to the awful and heartbreaking police brutality of our elders by expressing your concern to the New York Public Advocate’s office here.
Although details are yet to come from NYPD, apparently they responded to a noise complaint. For years, seniors have gathered to play chess, hang out, sing and make music at Columbus Park, which is a crucial part of the community’s social and cultural fabric. As reported in Gothamist, the woman who filmed the footage said: “Maybe some of the new people who have moved into the neighborhood didn’t know the elderly come and play their instruments.” Which I interpret as: some white person who is a part of the increasing gentrification of the area took issue with the music of indigenous residents and decided the solution was to call Po-Po.
As a past renter in a building that was 95% Asian and 2 blocks up from Columbus Park, I see this response as possibly part of an increasing trend. While living in the building for several years, I watched white hipster culture vultures come and go, taking advantage of relatively cheap prices and what they likely perceived as the exotic allure of Chinatown — while showing blatant disrespect for the other (mostly elderly or extended family) tenants. Things like parking their bikes in the narrow hallways, shoving past elders in the halls and stairs, and blaring THEIR MUSIC long into the night. I don’t know how many notes I’ve taped on doors or complaints I’ve made to try and get these douchebags to realize they’re not in Williamsburg anymore, but live in an actual community where people have jobs and kids and real issues.
I’ve also experienced the unresponsiveness of cops to locals’ concerns. A couple years ago folks were worried about a repeated intruder who would come into the building late at night and lurk around the hallways. Since most units’ bathrooms were located outside of the apartment and in the hall, residents feared for their safety. Although they had already called, they asked me to contact the cops on their behalf, as one elder told me: “They hear my accent and don’t want to listen”. When I called the local precinct with very specific information on the times the intruder was seen and requested they send by a patrol car, they blithely responded: “Is the intruder in the building right now? Then sorry, we can’t send anyone over”. This from a precinct that was 1 block away. I don’t want to paint all of NYPD with the same brush, but they can do much better than this.
I also walked by Columbus Park every day, and the singing and music is friggin AWESOME and JOYFUL and draws both locals and tourists who enjoy it. If the scrooge who made the complaint doesn’t like Old Chinese People music, then DON’T MOVE TO CHINATOWN..and also get some help for that shriveled, coal-black heart.
In Japan, they take disaster training and emergency preparedness seriously, folks. Trainers at the Tama Zoo in Tokyo role-played what to do in the event of a tiger rampage, with over 70 zoo staff taking part in the drill. 26-year-old Shuhei Yamaguchi lost at that most powerful democratic tool known to man: rock-paper-scissors — and was stuck with the role of tiger-run-amok.
While the getup makes me feel like I’m at a high school basketball game waiting for the half-time dunk contest, Yamaguchi’s performance (which lasted over an hour) of enraged-turned-defeated creature is straight QUALITY. Just try not to whimper as they poke a stick at his limp Garfield body and wrap his fuzzy mascot ass all up in that net. SADS. Makes me wanna call up ASPCA. Someone get Sarah McLachlan on the phone, stat! Also, I wonder if Tama Zoo is hiring…
Nothing says “Valentine’s Day” like a little Schadenfreude: Toddler Edition! Hey kid, welcome to the first heartbreak of the rest of your life. Get used to it, and get used to other people laughing at your pain. O the pain! Best to learn these lessons early.
Wow, we all know how that feels (although that’s usually my reaction when I find out I just missed happy hour). Hope your Valentine’s Day is better than this kid’s, or that at least by now, you’ve learned to appropriately internalize your anguish.
For those of youse who may not have caught it last night, professional stuntman and martial artist Steven Ho (aka ASIAN frickin CONAN) was on Conan O’Brien’s show, back for the first time since Conan found a new home on TBS.
And did not disappoint! In his continuing epic saga of putting Conan through stunt school, Steven pulled out the big guns, or swords — by cutting a watermelon on Conan’s stomach in half (eat your heart out, Gallagher), hitting Conan in the face with a staff, and incorporating an Asian baby!
Steven was also nice enough to provide BCB with some behind-the-scenes shots! Behold:
Can’t wait to see Steven’s next schoolin’ for Conan, and I hope Asian Baby continues to be a recurring character. It’s giving me some good ideas on how to best utilize my future progeny. Be sure to check out Steven’s past Conan appearances and other good stuff here.
UPDATE: Steven tells me that said Asian Baby is kind of famous, and even has his own website. AB first appeared as a stunt prop on The Tonight Show, and was later raffled off on Facebook and YouTube and shipped via UPS to Coco fan Linda Schenk. Check out AB’s site for more of this stunt baby’s adventures. Go ‘head, Asian Baby!
Grace Lee Boggs speaking in Berkeley on Friday March 2nd. What more do you want? Just GO.
For the first time in history, iconic activists Grace Lee Boggs and Angela Davis will share the stage for a conversation entitled “On Revolution: A Conversation Between Grace Lee Boggs and Angela Davis” on Friday, March 2nd at Pauley Ballroom, University of California, Berkeley from 4pm-6pm. More info here.
Bookish Bitchin
Its gonna be hard as hell to write a review of a book like this without spoilers. So let me just say this book has gently nestled its way into my Murakami top 3, just under Wind Up Bird Chronicles and barely inching above Norwegian Wood. This means a lot cause I'm a fanatic over his ish and spend way too much money on multiple copies of his books... If you're a veteran Murakami reader, you'll love how long this book is. More time before the Murakami-withdrawal hits. You'll also like hearing from a female protagonist for the first time. If this is your first Murakami book, I'd read one of his books with less magical realism first, After Dark or Kafka on the Shore then move up to 1Q84 about 3-4 books later. Also, you might wanna buy the digital version (although the US hardcopy if a sight to behold) cause this book be phat!