What could be any better than this internet meme combining the T-Pain hook with the most common anglo-cized way of butchering the most awesome recognized Vietnamese last name:
The answer is: Nothing. What’s the second best? Copping a shirt from South East Beast that revives the almost sinking Charlie Sheen mantra. Mens and Womens cuts available here.
Since we’re about to head down the tunnel of fuckery that is Halloween weekend (and just in case you haven’t heard of it yet), I wanted to give some extra shine to the “We’re a Culture, Not a Costume” campaign.
Maybe you and your friends have been bitching for years about racist costumes, or feeling a sense of dread every October in anticipation that there will always, ALWAYS be at least one person who has to show up to the party in black face or as a polyester geisha or sheik or Cherokee princess trashbag.
Well, an Ohio University student group called STARS (Students Teaching About Racism in Society) took action — creating an educational campaign that is elegantly rendered, to the point, and includes a diversity of ethnicities that are mimicked every Hallow’s Eve. The campaign has hit a nerve, quickly going viral on social media and attracting national press.
So this Halloween, if you see some trick in a rice paddy hat, instead of sputtering clumsily or throwing your middle finger in their face (like I did last year), you’ll have a wonderful, pithy slogan to summon: “We’re a culture, not a costume…dickweed!” (Dickweed optional. I guess).
See all the awesome campaign posters here
…Like a BAOOUUWS!
Ling Valentine is a Chinese British immigrant whose star has fast risen to become the UK Queen of car leasing — selling over £1m worth of cars every month through her site LINGsCARS.com (which is likely to give you a seizure).
On her Twitter, she describes herself as: “Boss of LINGsCARS.com – Female Chinese immigrant in UK. I speak Chinglish, have a Chemistry degree and a Masters in Environmental stuff. I’m real, reply & bite.”
She advertises her biz by parking a Chinese Nuclear Missile Truck and a London double decker bus along the A-1 Highway, which has apparently been a very successful marketing strategy.
In 2007, Ling appeared on the show Dragons’ Den (the US counterpart is Shark Tank) to pitch her business to a bunch of loaded tycoons. One investor actually offered her £25,000 for a 20% share of the company…and she shot him down!
Not only did Ling reject the offer whilst wearing green raver pants, she threw in: “Well, Chinese eat dragons for breakfast…Thank you for your money. I refuse it.” BOOM!! PWNED! Ling Valentine is my hero.
When I first watched this clip, I was totally rooting for Johnny Robinson — a contestant on the X-Factor UK. His snappy gold-breasted blazer/space hooker fashions, bitchy comebacks (“It costs a lot to look this cheap, Gary”), and inability to understand Twitter (also note the one-fingered typing) endeared him to my own catty, technololology-challenged heart. Plus, he was gonna do a Kylie cover, you guys! That is, until I saw the actual performance:
Oh, hell. This old queen went and pulled an Aneka! What is it about Kylie’s music that led Johnny to make this um, artistic choice, exactly? As far as the Oriental-ized backup dancers, I don’t think tippy-toeing around with palms pressed together and flapping a fan around their faces like they’re in a production of Madame Butterfly should count as legit choreography. And the eyeliner looks like it was smeared on with an old Sharpie. How I wish Johnny had just tried to re-create the costumes from the original version, tits out and all:
Much better.
Although, if there is one redeeming quality to this cringefest, it’s Johnny hollerin out “VOGUE!” at the end.
Today’s Friday Fuckery is brought to you by the decision of these two to take the first step in the magical journey towards divorce: actress Brenda Song (Disney’s The Suite Life of Zack & Cody and the role of psycho Asian tramp in The Social Network) and Trace Cyrus (brother of Miley, “musician”, high school dropout, and exemplar of poor decision-making).
Again, there is just no excuse for that breastplate. Maybe if you're an extra in a "Dances With Wolves" remake. Still, though.
Seriously.
That is all.
While the Occupy Wall Street protests plod on, some are attempting to discredit the mobilizations by focusing on the “types” of folks that are protesting. OpieRadio (aka “shock jock” Gregg Hughes of the Opie & Anthony Show) decided to go down to Wall Street and interview some of the more inarticulate/blazed individuals, thus labeling the entire protest a “freak show”.
Apparently, included in this “freak show” are two Chinese immigrants, one who used to work for Morgan Stanley, Citibank, and other Wall Street firms — and his friend who is there to support him and the larger movement. When one man speaks in Chinese to answer Opie’s (over-enunciated) question: “Why. Are. You. Here?“, Opie cuts him off with: “I don’t know what he’s saying!” (1:45 mark). After the other man translates, Opie mocks them with several “Ah, soooo” (2:39).
Well Opie, understand this: FUCK YOU!! Why these two well-spoken men were included in a montage with a girl in a bear costume who couldn’t answer why she was protesting or a guy speaking through a puppet rat is totally ridiculous and offensive. Why are they “freaks”…because they’re Asian and have accents? Also, did he make oinking noises at the girl at 2:20? Class act.
Opie was likely focusing on the minority of protestors anyway, in a cheap effort to ridicule the whole movement for fiscal reform by seeking out the most grungy, high-as-shit, tatted-up individuals (I personally feel we should be more afraid of a shifty CEO in a suit that a guy with face tattoos)….oh, plus a couple of hardworking Asian immigrants. Nice try, dick.
As if a typical Conservative or Teabagger gathering isn’t chock full o’ misspelled signs (aka “Teabonics”) and folks with questionable hygiene and fashion sense who can’t string a coherent, non-racist sentence together…in other words, “freaks”.
via Buzzfeed
Professional stuntman and martial artist (and one of BCB’s favorite people ever) Steven Ho will be making another appearance on Conan O’Brien this Wednesday. Steven has been putting Conan through stunt school, which has involved breaking bottles over Conan’s head and slicing open watermelon on his stomach (check out some highlights here). What will Steven think of next?!? A roundhouse kick to the nuts? Lighting Conan’s pompadour on fire? This stunt ish be cray-cray.
Be sure to tune into this epic showdown (and watch Conan confront his own mortality) Wednesday night on TBS.
At first I thought this video clip on “Oriental demons” was about Michelle Malkin, but it turns out these god-fearin folks are talking about none other than those much-beloved Pokémons!
Y’know, sometimes I too have been accused of turning into an “Oriental demon” after a few shots of whateversinfrontofme, and am also easily led into fighting random street animals. I hope the Club36 Watchmen don’t come after my candy ass! Blame it on the Goose, blame it on Henny!
p.s. – WHERE do you get 100 ravens?
thanks Loubs!
Folks in NY: don’t miss this new play written by spoken word dynamo Kelly Zen-Yie Tsai and directed by Jesse Jou — co-performed by YaliniDream and Adeeba Rana. It’s happening this Sunday:
Kelly Zen-Yie Tsai’s Say You Heard My Echo is a spoken word theater project that juxtaposes fictional narratives of three Asian American women in NYC a decade after 9/11. Their struggles with survivorship and faith prompt them to call on Mary Magdalene, Guan Yin, and Aisha for solace and answers as they come of age in a world impacted by war. Rendered with humor and humanity, Say You Heard My Echo questions what remains sacred in times of war while unearthing intersections between feminism, Asian Pacific Islander American identity, and religious freedom. Following the performance, the audience may dialogue with the work and artists. More info here.
Sunday, October 9th · 5 to 7 PM
Flushing Town Hall, 135-37 Northern Boulevard, Queens NYC
Tickets: $15 /$10 for a4 Alliance+, Flushing Town Hall members & Students with ID; buy tickets here.
Say You Heard My Echo is a co-production of Asian American Arts Alliance and Flushing Council on the Arts & Culture. Co-sponsored by the Asian / Pacific / American Institute at New York University.
Thanks Kelly!
Its gonna be hard as hell to write a review of a book like this without spoilers. So let me just say this book has gently nestled its way into my Murakami top 3, just under Wind Up Bird Chronicles and barely inching above Norwegian Wood. This means a lot cause I'm a fanatic over his ish and spend way too much money on multiple copies of his books... If you're a veteran Murakami reader, you'll love how long this book is. More time before the Murakami-withdrawal hits. You'll also like hearing from a female protagonist for the first time. If this is your first Murakami book, I'd read one of his books with less magical realism first, After Dark or Kafka on the Shore then move up to 1Q84 about 3-4 books later. Also, you might wanna buy the digital version (although the US hardcopy is a sight to behold) cause this book be phat!
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