Between an OK state rep saying minorities earn less because they don’t work as hard and the OK House just approving a “state gospel song“, I don’t know why anyone in their right mind would want to go live in the 1800′s Sooner State.
Archive for April, 2011
Oklahoma: Trying Its Hardest to be the Next Arizona
Posted in AUDACITY, Bitch please! with tags OK, oklahoma, sooner state on April 29, 2011 by aznheartthrobCondragulations to Raja!
Posted in Awesomeness with tags Alexis Mateo, manila luzon, raja, RuPaul's Drag Race on April 26, 2011 by Cbruhs
The season finale of the “Olympics of Drag” (and the highlight of my week) aired last night. It was down to the final three queens: Alexis Mateo, Raja, and Manila Luzon, including two Asian Americans (Manila and Raja). Although honestly, while I was rooting for Raja and Manila at the start of the season, I switched my vote to Alexis Mateo.
Alexis, in addition to being ridiculously talented and funny (“The bigger the the hair the closer to god”) — is just so frickin genuine, positive, and sweet. With the best catchphrase ever: “BAM!”
And I know we’re talking about drag queens here, but Raja and Manila were on a serious Mean Girls tip. While the pair were obviously fierce, gifted, and glamorous, they were not very nice people. They called the other contestants “boogers” and generally acted like high school snobs, dubbing themselves “The Heathers”.
1st runner-up Manila had some awesome conceptual outfits (Big Bird, pineapple) and can lip sync the hell out of a number, but her reliance on an Asian shtick and pidgin accents got tiresome.
Raja, a self-professed “runway girl” — definitely OWNS the catwalk and had a innovative take on the challenges, but I personally prefer the kind of drag that’s not about who can look the most gorgeous or most high fashion, but who can genderfuck, provoke, and entertain your ass off. But maybe Drag Race is proving to just not be the forum for this type of campy and subversive drag (i.e. it ain’t no Starrbooty).
In any case, while not my first pick, Raja is indeed an all-around Badass, and says she wants to use her win as an example for kids that have felt like social misfits. Yes, Ma’am! Chanté!
Mondega + Bambu = Music for the People
Posted in Uncategorized with tags bambu, clothing and love, food, mondega, music for the people on April 23, 2011 by aznheartthrobPeep the new Mondega & Bambu video: “Music for the People”. And cop the new album titled “Food, Clothing and Love” set for release on April 28th. Don’t forget to listen to the lyrics or else you’re missing the whole point of hip hop.
Friday Fuckery: 3D Sex and Zen
Posted in Friday Fuckery with tags 3D, Friday Fuckery, sex and zen on April 22, 2011 by Cbruhs
I’m not a big fan of PRONS (shocking!) except the ones that parody political candidates (Nailin’ Palin) or cultural icons (Keni Styles in Bruce Lee XXX). But the new Hong Kong 3-D soft porn Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy seems less skeevy and more um…”picturesque” (trailer passably SFW):
3D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy (maybe something’s lost in translation here, or I’m just old-fashioned and don’t think the word “extreme” should be paired with nookytimes) is based on a classic novel about the sexual exploits of a Ming Dynasty scholar. Plus it’s a lush costume drama set in ancient-times, which particularly rouses my pantaloons.
From Zoe Li’s review in CNNGo: “I walked out of the first private screening never wanting to have sex again, not because the sex scenes were gross… but because its message of ‘true love doesn’t need sex’ was so convincing”. Li describes Sex and Zen as a “campy comedic sex romp” and “naughty good fun” with some outlandish violence thrown in for good measure. She adds: “If the sex is taken out, the movie remains a carnival ride of visual stimulation”. Also, she concludes: needs more penis.
3D Sex and Zen was released this month in Hong Kong (censored in China), South Korea, Australia, and New Zealand. It raked in a record $351,000 (HK $2,790,000) in Hong Kong on the first day alone, which beats Avatar‘s HK$2.5 million opening gross in 2009.
Sounds like the Hong Kong film industry has come up with a win-win formula here (besides pairing porn with 3D): erotica that entertains without making you feel too icky, by tying it all up with a wholesome, family-friendly message. And did I mention it is a PERIOD PIECE COSTUME DRAMA?
via Buzzfeed, and Wikipedia!
ABDC 6: Roll Call!
Posted in Awesomeness, For Your Consideration, HAWTNESS with tags americas best dance crew, instant noodles, season 6 on April 20, 2011 by Cbruhs
So the second episode of ABDC Season 6 aired last week, and we’ve been introduced to all 10 competing crews. They represent locations from all over the world, performed new dance styles rarely seen on TV, and Randy Jackson looks trimmer than ever! That’s all well and good, but what I really care about is…HOW MANY ASIANS ARE THERE?!
The following is a rundown/racial profile of all the dancers I perceive as being of API descent on this year’s season, plus some random commentary thrown in for bitchy measure. And if I get any of it wrong, I’M SORRY — the streaming on my computer from MTV.com no work so good.
ReQuest: Flying across the globe from New Zealand, this “all-Poly” female crew has the 2010-2011 World Hip Hop Dance Championship under their lamé belts. The MTV website says they “are a melting pot of many cultures, including Japanese, Chinese, Hawaiian and Portuguese”…hm, what about Māori or Samoan members? Anyhoo, they describe their style as “Poly-Swag” and take inspiration from Haka, a traditional Māori dance. Also, best haircuts.
IaMmE (it took me 7 minutes to type that): From Houston, this crew has one Asian American member – Di “Moon” Zhang, a certified “Brain-Banger”.
Weh-helll, Moon can “bang” my…I better stop.
Street Kingdom: Remember that movie Rize that had dancing clowns in it and got every suburban kid in America thinking he could rip his shirt off and just WILD OUT on a homie? Well these guys (or maybe just Ceasare “Tight Eyez” Willis) invented it! (It’s called Krumping, and it’s totally a hit at happy hour, I’ll have you know). Joseph “Lil B-Dash” Duenas and Mark “Streetnoize” Santiago are reppin for the Pinoys, I’m guessing.
Next are are the groups from the Ke$ha Trashbag Challenge — and she delivered messages to the crews herself (did anyone else notice that Ke$ha’s talking voice also cracks like an overexcited pubescent boy?).
Jag6ed: OK, I dunno if I’m open-minded enough to consider pole-dancing a legitimate dance. I mean I know there’s a Pole Dance Magazine now and its growing as a sports competition, but c’mon — it’s hard to look cool wearing a bedazzled leotard from a pre-teen jazz showcase and no shoes. I know y’all are buff as hell but you’re not wearing any pants. Just look:
As Jag6ed said: “There’s definitely no stripping”. Well you ARE in boy shorts and sports bras to practice, so you’re pretty much already nekkid. But I get it, these ladies are damn strong and probably have the upper body strength of a cage fighter. Now, what was I talking about? Oh yes, Asians. There is Jessica Agdeppa. She would have a fruitful career being an American Apparel model.
ICONic Boyz: Ok, I know there’s no Asians in this crew, but HOLY CHRIST where’d these toddlers come from?! I do feel they have an unfair advantage since bones are not fully formed at this age so they can be extra flexible like Gumbys and shit.
I want to adopt them, especially that little porky meatball Thomas Miceli with the shaved eyebrow. They are like mini-Guidos and it’s making my maternal instincts squeeeaaaal. The whole ab reveal thing kinda freaked me out tho. 7-year-olds should not have man-abs, and I should not be looking at those abs.
787 Crew: Also not Asian, but damn, how come the PR crews on ABDC are always so tragic? G.O.P from Season 3 were all homeless or something and got eliminated first episode, and this time dude broke his leg before the first show and there were waterworks all around. But, they do rank high on my molestation meter. I’m looking at you, Daniel “Phantom” Alberto Babilonia Torres.
Instant Noodles: This season’s all-AZN crew, from Los Angeles by way of Taiwan! Although their performance was a little underwhelming, they already sold me with my favorite move of all time: the hair-comb – during the opening number. They have sweet pastel ‘fits and I’m a fan of their “eating noodles” hand sign (although not their Asian tourist peace sign). And yes, I want to molest. Alas, Instant Noodles got torn apart by judge D-Trix (Quest Crew), so we’ll see if they have staying power or whether they’ll drown in their own cute overload.
That’s that! Oh, and as always — shut up, Mario Lopez.
Jessie Jackson Jr Blames China, iPad for US Recession
Posted in Bitch please! with tags apple, chicago, cupertino, jessie jackson, jr., recession on April 18, 2011 by aznheartthrobThis is the second time in one week I’ve heard a Blame China rant when the topic should be the US recession. Seriously folks, we’re going back into the Cold War with these lame arguments. I’d like everyone to read up on what country would fall apart first if China were to tumble (if you said the US, you get a free Cup o’ Noodle).
I guess I can SORT OF understand his argument about importing jobs, but seriously, does JJJ really want Foxconn in his congressional district? Last time I checked, INNOVATION was the American economic spirit, not INDUSTRIALIZATION. What is this, Manchester in the 1800′s? Apple brings jobs to the US, not the other way around. Apple is the FIRST American company to create a piece of electronic that other companies cannot copycat or outright copy. See Samsung. When I was in Hong Kong this year, I saw really frustrated people working the counter at Golden Computer Arcade in Sham Shui Po cause for the first time, there was a product that was all over the world that couldn’t be knocked off and profited from. The iPhone’s interface, iOS and apps cannot be copied. Sure you can get a phone that LOOKS like an iPhone (See Samsung), but every iPhone sold is bringing $ back to Cupertino, California. Which is, last time I checked in American (and hella Asian yo!). Oh, and Steve Jobs called, he wanted to thank you for buying an iPad. Cause buying a Galaxy Tab is un-American (ring ring. hello? Oh, what? Google makes Androids and Google is an American company in Mountain View, California? hella Asians yo!
Laser’d in the EYES
Posted in Awesomeness with tags Karin Anna Cheung, netflix, the people i slept with on April 15, 2011 by aznheartthrobThe best thing about being holed in my old room at my parents house after recovering from laser eye surgery is Netflix streaming. You would think living at home is like living in the Mission, cause there’s ethnic and health food downstairs. But its not. So you can imagine how excited I was to see my Netflix algorithm recommend The People I Slept With, starring the lovely Karin Anna Cheung. Maybe it based this on my five star rating for Harold and Kumar and 2 star rating for Jesus Camp? Next up, the second season of UK Skins.
PS. forgive me for my spelling errors. The world is blurry right now and my Mac screen looks like burning tears.
Friday Fuckery: Janties!
Posted in Awesomeness, Creeptastic, Friday Fuckery with tags CUW, Friday Fuckery, jean underwear on April 15, 2011 by CbruhsJanties? Junderpants? Jrawers? Who cares what they’re called, they’re underwear made to look like mutherlovin denim!
This new unisex wardrobe essential is brought to you by the Japanese brand CUW, which has named them — simply yet elegantly:”JeanPants”. These are like Jeggings times infinity plus wonderful. Honestly, from a fashion-forward aesthetic, the whole notion of pants in general is so passé, so hopelessly outdated.
For only $61 you can score a pair of undergarments that flings off the tyranny of trousers and yet will hug your nuts ‘n’ nethers like you’re in a Dukes of Hazzard-themed porno. As with Jeggings, I’m praying that JeanPants will be included in UniQlo’s spring collection. Cuz I’m buyin’ up the whole damn crop. I wonder if it comes as a thong?
via Buzzfeed
Bookish Bitchin: Eeeee Eee Eeee
Posted in Bookish Bitchin' with tags Bookish Bitchin', Eeeee Eee Eeee, tao lin on April 13, 2011 by CbruhsOk, it’s been like 9 months since my last book review, but I have a couple dozen excuses and they are all stacked up in a nice pile on my bathroom floor. You can’t tell me Costco coupon books don’t make a fascinating read, damn your retail prices to hell. Anyhoo, this Bookish Bitchin is a review of Eeeee Eee Eeee (2007) by Virginia-born, Florida-raised, and Brooklyn-based Tao Lin.
I used to see tiny flyers for Eeeee Eee Eeee plastered all over the Union Square stop, and the title made me think: “fun!” or, “rodents!”. I finally got around to reading it, and I’m guessing it’s something people either love or love to hate.
Eeee Eee Eeee follows the protaganist Andrew as he delivers pizzas, dejectedly hangs around his house trying to write, and is visited by bears and dolphins and such. Random public figures like Elijah Wood and the President of the United States make appearances, and bands like The Flaming Lips are referenced. Other than that, there’s not much of a plot thrust; it kinda feels like a stroll through the brain of someone who is exceptionally neurotic and just ingested a fresh batch of pot brownies.
Andrew is exceedingly emotionally fragile, yet nothing about him seems heartfelt. It’s like having a crush on that mysterious brooding kid in school, stumbling upon his diary, and realizing he’s just self-absorbed and pretty fucking boring. Lin also breaks that grade-school rule of “show, don’t tell”….he tells: “Andrew is depressed”. Over and over. The repetition of particular phrases (i.e. “killing rampage”) verged on annoying.
The novel at times seemed lazy, droll, and self-indulgently emo. It’s hard to tell whether Lin’s affect-less style is meant to reflect a particular human condition, or if it’s just a detached, half-assed attempt at prose. Lin could be exercising a radical literary technique, but often it just reads as pretentious and tiresome (which makes sense, given that Lin has been heralded as the golden boy of “Hipster Lit”).
But what Eeeee Eee Eeee does do well is hit on that feeling of loneliness, ennui, and shit being pointless that can creep up on you and ride your ass for days, weeks, years. The plot is aimless, social exchanges uninspired… like life can sometimes feel.
This was the first time I’d read anything by Tao Lin, and when I finished Eeeee Eee Eeee I was all like, “What?” I usually assume that people are smarter than me, and thus Lin probably knows what he’s doing. Maybe I just don’t get it; I’m not “hip with it” or whatever the kids say these days. Was the novel was being deliberately avant-garde or ironic? Maybe this points to the inventiveness and fluidity of Lin’s style?…oh fuck, I dunno, who else has read it?! I feel like I need a support group for this book. Eeeeeeeeee…
Friday Fuckery: Wuhan Wedding Proposal Fail
Posted in Friday Fuckery with tags Friday Fuckery, marriage proposal, wuhan on April 8, 2011 by CbruhsAh, romance! Love and marriage! The crazy things people will do to enter into a binding arrangement to wake up gazing into the same eye boogers every morning for the rest of their lives.
Like this woman, a student at Wuhan University majoring in Major Romanticalness. After sending her boyfriend a message to come meet her at a cherry blossom festival, she gathered an armful of roses and clambered up to the top of her car. Behind her, a screen displayed the words: “Marry Me”. You Go Gurl!
Picture: Rex
By the time her boyfriend arrived, a big crowd (with cameras) had gathered. Aaaaand he turned her down. His reason? “It should be my job to make the proposal. However, I now have nothing and I can’t give you a good life. If you can wait for me for three years, when I should have bought my house and car, I will propose to you.”
Boyfriend consoles girlfriend for proposal fail
picture: CEN
I’m not a big traditionalist, so I have no qualms with a woman asking a man to marry her, or making some otherwise “manly” gesture in the relationship department. So I don’t agree that it’s his “job” to propose (and “job” makes it sound SO unpleasant…but maybe something got lost in translation). Plus, it looks like homegirl can buy her own damn car, she don’t want no ride in your funky ass Kia! And are having a house and car the requisite foundation for marriage? What about luuurrrv, laughter, compatibility…What about a robust 401K plan!
Maybe dude was throwing out an excuse because he just wasn’t that into her, and in the meantime he’ll cut and bounce before his 3 years is up. Or maybe he really is being a sensible gentleman. Though not a traditionalist, I am a pragmatist at heart, in following with my Han DNA. So I can appreciate this guy’s reasoning — and even consideration for her future — in his decision to think first, jump later. Fools rush in, ya know.
But DAMN SON, that shit’s EMBARRASSING!
