Archive for March, 2011

Why I Originally Thought There Was No Way I Could Have Been Disappointed by Sucker Punch But Then Realized I Was So Completely Wrong to Have Thought That in the First Place

Posted in AUDACITY, Bitch please! with tags , , on March 31, 2011 by aznheartthrob

 

Seriously. You watch that trailer and then find out the movie was directed by Zach Snyder of 300 fame and you think there’s no way it could suck. Then you find out Jamie Chung is in it and ready to kick ass with three swords and five guns. NO F’N WAY IT COULD SUCK RIGHT?

(SPOILER ALERTS!!!!!!! I hate writing shit that has spoiler alerts but there’s no way I could vent my anger without revealing two major plot points.)

But seriously, this movie sucked. It looks great, yes. But come on. I can usually defend a movie I kinda like, but I can’t defend this shit. Zach Snyder was seriously high watching Inception when he wrote this mess. He was also probably trying to figure out a way to set back the feminist movement by 2 decades while he was rolling a joint and jotting down notes for his reality within a reality within a reality plot. I’m going to break down the following two spoilers/Sucker Punch fails to explain why I didn’t agree to promoting a contest to give BcB readers free schwag after watching this.

1. Jamie Chung. WHAT A FUCKING WASTE. This girl has spent the last 4 years training for this movie. Between all the ka-ra-te she’s learned and that lean (I mean lean) body, she can literally kick my ass. I’ve seen her. In person. She’s lean. But what does Zach Snyder have her do? PILOT A FUCKING PLANE/HELICOPTER through the whole movie while the other 4 actresses, who spent “months” training for this role, get all the glory. Oh, and guess what, Jamie get’s clocked in the face halfway through the movie. DIES. DEAD. Spoiler. I almost walked the FUCK out. Does Zach have to kill ALL the Asians in a movie filled with white people? Vanessa Hudgens and Jamie Chung, all dead within 2 seconds of each other. I’m still bitter.

2. The reality within a reality within a reality thing was great. If I already hadn’t seen Inception. But imagine Inception if Leonardo DiCaprio was LAME for two out of three of those dreams. Cause that’s what Sucker Punch was like. The women were powerless in two of those realities, patients in an insane asylum in one reality and burlesque dancing slaves in the second. (somewhere a 13-year old is masterbating). The trailer focuses entirely on the third reality which was 1/3 of the movie. Seriously, I would love to hear what our female readers would like to say about this movie. Cause it was excruciatingly frustrating to watch 2/3 of this movie. Could Zach have seriously just made a badass action film where the women just owned the men for most of the film instead of getting killed left and right? I don’t even know how to end this. So I’ll just stop. And maybe pray for no sequels. And maybe also for Zach Snyder to get his Writer’s Guild membership taken away and replaced with a Directors Guild membership that allows him to only direct adapted screenplays like Watchmen.

My Like/Indifferent Relationship with the City of Oakland

Posted in Bitch please! with tags , , , , on March 30, 2011 by aznheartthrob

The following is a tirade by AzN and does not reflect the overall feelings of all BcB writers. Past and present.

Let me start by saying, I really like working in Oakland. I enjoy the warm, sunny side of the Bay, Monday-Friday. 9AM-6PM. Sometimes 9-10PM. But I gotta say, I’m not a fan of much else. I realized that this weekend when I was at the Apple Store in southside San Jose. Right before walking over to another part of a mall to watch a movie in the theater. My realization: Oakland is just so damn difficult. Everything is difficult. Its not easy to live in Oakland. You gotta LOVE Oakland to live in Oakland. Props to folks that live in Oakland, cause they really are down. Great to be you, I’m so proud. But for me, it would be hard.

Why? Oakland has the worst attributes of a suburban city and ALSO all the side effects of an urban city.

Suburban problems: suburban tract homes, dependency on cars, poor public transit, disconnected neighborhoods with separated land uses, long commutes to work (cause you probably don’t work in Oakland), fast food stores everywhere, things to do in general, and highways/highways/highways.

Urban problems: access to conveniently located stores (1/3 a TARGET doesn’t count), parking, traffic, crowded/ill-timed buses, crime or perception of crime, Race Wars!, rioting, downtown Oakland after 11PM, active parks, and Piedmont (need I say more?).

You wanna go shopping? Oaklanders drive to Emeryville. Wanna go see a movie? That’s in Alameda. Wanna work? Take the ferry to SF. Nice romantic dinner for two? Better hop on BART to Berkeley. Eventually wanna raise your kids up in a good public school? That’ll be Albany. Wanna take the kids to the mall? BART over to Union Square or Hilltop (if you’re adventurous). Wanna see Doug E. Fresh or De La Soul perform, oh wait, you can stay in Oakland for that and head to Yoshi’s in Jack London… Oh Shit, they’re not performing at Yoshi’s in Jack London, they’re at the new Yoshi’s in SF… damn.

I’m not saying Oakland isn’t a great city, I’m just saying it doesn’t have any the benefits that a suburban city provides a family and it ain’t got the benefits that an urban city provides it yuppie DINC couple (dual income no children). Sure, Oakland has San Jose and San Francisco beat when it comes to diversity cause there aren’t many Black folks in those other cities. But what about that couple from Germany you run into when you’re in SF or that family from Japan that’s on a 1 year contract to work in San Jose? I consider that diversity as well.

So I’m not sure what any of the counter arguments will be, cause I’m sure I’ll see some. But all I can say is for now, while I’m single and looking for an urban environment, I’m happy in The Mission. I can walk to cafes, bars, grocery stores and BART. And when I want to settle down and get coerced  by the missus to move to the suburbs, I’d go to San Jose where I can shop at Target and CostCo and take my kids to soccer practice, all without leaving my car. I’m not saying I would actually want to do any of this, mind you, cause I f’n hate the suburbs. But I’m just sayin’, Oakland is going to attract the folks that want a little urban/suburban mix. But getting a little of both means you’re getting both sides of a shitty coin. And the look in my friends’ eyes after happy hour in Oakland when they have to ride AC Transit or hop in their car (usually drunk) to go back home while I hop on BART to continue the party in the Mission. That shit is priceless and I’m glad I’m walking those steps to BART and not waiting for the #18 to never come on Broadway.

Cynthia Lin’s Charity Single for Japan

Posted in For Your Consideration with tags , , , on March 24, 2011 by Cbruhs

The fierce and super sweet musician Cynthia Lin just released a new cover of “The Moon Represents My Heart”, with all proceeds going to the Japan Relief and Recovery Fund through Direct Relief International, a “100% efficient charity” org.

Cynthia’s message about the single:

dear friends and fans,

this song “the moon represents my heart” is a classic chinese tune that was made famous by the inimitable teresa teng and is recognized the world over by generations young and old.

moved by the video footage of the tsunami and its shocking destruction, i looked for a way that i could help beyond donations, as i don’t have much to give.  i hope that my simple acoustic recording of this song can bring people comfort and encourage them to help in ways that i cannot.

i’ve already been amazed by your generosity after posting the charity track on facebook.  please spread the word and help keep the momentum going!

with love and thanks,
cynthia.

Support Cynthia and the relief efforts by downloading the song here for $0.99.

Thanks Cynthia!

Today! One Year Anniversary of Health Care Reform

Posted in For Your Consideration with tags , on March 23, 2011 by Cbruhs

Received from The Asian & Pacific Islander American Health Forum. Sign a card – it only takes a minute! Don’t let the Repubes roll back our health care gains!

APIAHF and their Health Through Action partners are celebrating the one-year anniversary of health care reform by delivering birthday cards to Members of Congress and they need your help.

Sign a health care reform birthday card that will be delivered to Members of Congress on Wednesday March 23, 2011 – which marks one-year since the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act was enacted.

Health care reform lowers the cost of health care, increases the number of health care providers, holds health insurance companies accountable, improves the quality of health care and extends health coverage to 32 million people. In this time of economic uncertainty and rising unemployment, health care reform provides much needed security to millions of Americans.

Health care reform will help provide health coverage to uninsured and underinsured Asian Americans, Native Hawaiians, and Pacific Islanders (AAs and NHPIs) while also enhancing the quality of care our communities receive by:

– Providing an increase in funding to community health centers, which give affordable, high-quality preventive and primary health care to more than 18 million people in more than 7,000 communities nationwide.

– Expanding the Medicaid program and creating new Health Insurance Exchanges to increase access to affordable, quality care for more individuals and families.

–  Expanding initiatives to increase racial and ethnic diversity in the health professions and offering training grants for providers to strengthen their cultural competency.

– Including provisions to increase the collection and reporting of data on race, ethnicity, and language.  This will provide our policy makers, public health experts, local leaders and service providers with the necessary information to set priorities and allocate resources to address health disparities in our communities.

Thanks Andrew!

Friday Fuckery: Rebecca Black Covers!

Posted in All Class, Awesomeness, For Your Consideration, Friday Fuckery with tags , , on March 18, 2011 by Cbruhs

Earlier this week I heard for the first time the now infamous song “Friday” by Rebecca Black. While I initially stumbled around in disbelief that this could actually exist, over the next few days I was slowly overtaken by the Black Plague.

source

You guys, it’s seriously the last thing I bellow out (accompanied by “YEAH!” fist pump) before my noggin hits the pillow and the first thing running through my head when I wake.

Fried eggs Frieeeed eggs. FUN FUN FUN FUN. Which seat can I taaaaaake?!?

The song has taken over my life. It’s just a matter of time before it’s made into an SNL Digital Short and Gwenyth Paltrow is prancing around neighing out “Friday” on Glee.

While my obsession with “Friday” has made me deeply question my impeccable taste, I do know one thing for certain: Asians can rock the ISH out of a Youtube cover. Consider:

krzykid87:

rustandrepair:

But this acapella by SongstaForLife takes the cake:

TODAY, IT IS FRIDAY, FRIEEEYDAAAAEEEE. WE WE WE SO EXCITED!

via Buzzfeed

BCB Profilin’: Lynn Chen

Posted in Awesomeness, BCB Profilin' with tags , , , , , , on March 15, 2011 by Cbruhs

This edition of BCB Profilin’ features Lynn Muthafuckin’ Chen — awesome actor (Saving Face), food blogger, and co-founder of the new site Thick Dumpling Skin, which serves as a forum for APIAs to discuss and support each other in struggles around body image and eating disorders.

photo by Chopper Platt

Lynn’s got a heckuva lot going on, including her role in this year’s SFIAAFF’s Feature Surrogate Valentine (co-starring musician Goh Nakamura as himself, and directed by White on Rice‘s Danny Boyle), which premiered last Saturday at SXSW.

Judging from the trailer, Surrogate Valentine looks pretty marvelous. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a 3-D version. Go check out the film this Thursday March 17th at the Sundance Kabuki Cinemas (tickets here) and Sunday March 20th at Camera 12 Cinemas (tickets here).

Plus, did you know Lynn is in a band?! Gal’s got so many talents it makes my head spin and then feel bad about myself. Read on in awe and envy…

Greetings, I am…

Lynn Chen

I’ve been known to bitch about…

Weather, mosquito bites, overpriced food.

My influences are…

The Food Network, NPR, and films about the 70’s made after the 70’s.

On a Saturday night you can find me….

Eating at a restaurant or watching a movie in the theater.

On a Tuesday night you can find me…

Eating takeout at home while watching a movie on DVD.

My usual drink/poison is….

Water (room temp).

If I was a superhero my name would be…

Lynn X. Chen

The last song/album I listened to is…

The Andrews Sisters Greatest Hits.

I have a borderline unhealthy obsession with…

food and blogging.

Favorite thing to do in LA….

See something at The Arclight and eat vegan gelato from Scoops afterwards.

Free Association time! First word I think of after “Asian America”:

Gelato.  Sorry, it was still on my mind.  But the two Scoops are Asian-owned.

My weapon of choice is….

My dog Julius.  He’ll kill you with cuteness.

Be sure to check out my…

food blog: The Actor’s Diet body image blog: Thick Dumpling Skin and two new movies: Surrogate Valentine and Via Text.

Thanks Lynn!

BCB Hoebag: Alexandra Wallace

Posted in AUDACITY, BCB Hoebags, Bitch please!, Douchebaggary, fucktards with tags , , , on March 14, 2011 by Cbruhs

UCLA student Alexandra Wallace, who is endowed with an inflated sense of self-importance as well as choice in bra, is the newest addition to BCB’s Top Hoebags List. Her credentials are exhibited below:

When she’s not busy rushing for Gamma Phi Beta and writing her thesis on Postmodern Feminist Behavior Amongst Hollister Employees, Alexandra likes to spend her leisure time organizing her peroxide bottles, re-applying layers of asshole-colored lip gloss, and informing the public about the most pressing issue of the day: “hordes of Asians”.

Specifically, Alexandra’s top rant is directed towards Asians on the phone in the library, going all “ching chong ling long ting tong” and checking in on their family members in the “tsunami thing” or whatnot.

As a counter-example to this atrocious Asian behavior, Alexandra describes herself as a “polite, nice American girl” whose momma obviously raised her to not only act as cultural ambassador amongst the murky, yellow-periled California college system, but to present her boobs as if they were a repository for dollar bills and apply makeup to age oneself 20 years, conveying a singular aspiration in life towards the above-referenced vocation. You’re right Alexandra, what you said does sound horrible, and so are you.

Thanks Char Char!

Update: THIS — White Girls in the Library.

Thx again DJ Char Char Binks!

Friday Fuckery: Rep. Peter King’s Hearing on “Radicalization” of Muslim Americans

Posted in Douchebaggary, Friday Fuckery, fucktards with tags , , , , on March 11, 2011 by Cbruhs

Yesterday, Representative Peter King (R-NY) — of the House Homeland Security Committee — called a hearing on “The Extent of Radicalization in the American Muslim Community”. King has said in the past:  “there are too many mosques in the country” and claimed “over 80 percent of mosques in this country are controlled by radical Imams.” Upholding his impeccable style of being impartial and balanced, King did not invite the leaders of any of the country’s Muslim civil organizations to testify.

Over the course of the past week, organizations including South Asian Americans Leading Together (SAALT), Organization of Chinese Americans (OCA) and the Japanese American Citizens League (JACL) have spoken out against the hearing, on the basis that it does nothing to address concerns over national security, but rather targets and scapegoats an entire community based on religion.

The Washington Post even said the hearing offered “a few facts and a surplus of political theater…focused less on fact-finding than on staking out political ground.”

Protesters inTimes Square rally against King’s hearing.  Abrams/AP

As Asian Americans, our communities are no strangers to being subjected to surveillance, discrimination, and/or placed in detention because we are perceived as a threat based not upon expressed political idealogy, but because of our race, culture, and/or religion.

It seems at some point the national conversation has shifted more blatantly from protection against terrorist attacks to a wholesale scrutinization of Muslim Americans as a people. The very title of King’s hearing assumes radicalization and sets the frame that Muslim = dangerous and extreme. We should call bullshit on this big ball of Repube Islamophobic fuckery, which isn’t likely to end with this particular Congressional hearing. The whole thing smacks of McCarthyism as well as the witch-hunts that led to the incarceration of Japanese American citizens during WWII.

As Americans, it’s our responsibility to hold our elected officials accountable in establishing fair and balanced dialogue on national issues, without alienating and demonizing an entire group of our society. Let’s remind bigoted politicians that Muslim Americans are Congress members (i.e. Rep. Keith Ellison (D-Minn.), community leaders, and have even died as first responders in the 9/11 attacks. These are the people that represent my American values and ideals, not some prejudiced, clueless legislator who is just going to further polarize the country and make things worse.

Banana 2 Recap

Posted in Awesomeness, Happenins with tags , , , , , , , , on March 7, 2011 by Cbruhs

It’s been just over a week since the Banana 2 convening of APIA bloggers went down in Studio City, Los Angeles on February 26th. And boy howdy, what an incredible gathering it was.

BCB attended last year — and major props to Lac Su (I Love Yous Are for White People) and Steve Nguyen (channelAPA) for masterminding and producing the conference through pure sweat, love, and determination from the very beginning. But Banana 2, with over 200 attendees, a slick venue (including a big-ass twitter wall), and a well-oiled agenda, was leagues ahead of the inaugural 2009 convening.

pic by Diana Wei

I was juiced to moderate the “niche communities” panel, titled: “Fixated: Topic-specific Blogging”. While I’m happy to report that I met my ambitious goal of not upchucking during the Q & A or falling off the stage, what really made the session a success was the engaging, sharp panel of bloggers: N’jaila Rhee (Blasian Bytch), Jot Vorapaychith (Live LAO’d), Jason Sperber (Rice Daddies) and Marvin Gapultos (Burnt Lumpia & Manila Machine). Check ‘em out, they are ’bout it ’bout it.

pics by Diana Wei

And although AzN didn’t fulfill his dream of meeting Gary Sinise at the after-party on the CSI:NY set, he can say that he parked in the same lot as his new fave show of all time forever and ever amen…Outsourced.

Hope to see y’all next year at an even bigger and better B3!

UStream of the Topic-specific blogging session and other B2 panels here.

Post-panel interview with Ted Nguyen here.

Lots o’ pics here.

Excellent recap by Hyphen’s Sylvie Kim here.

Friday Fuckery: Tiger Escape!

Posted in DANGER!, Friday Fuckery, Kawaii with tags , , , , on March 4, 2011 by Cbruhs

In Japan, they take disaster training and emergency preparedness seriously, folks. Trainers at the Tama Zoo in Tokyo role-played what to do in the event of a tiger rampage, with over 70 zoo staff taking part in the drill. 26-year-old Shuhei Yamaguchi lost at that most powerful democratic tool known to man: rock-paper-scissors — and was stuck with the role of tiger-run-amok.

While the getup makes me feel like I’m at a high school basketball game waiting for the half-time dunk contest, Yamaguchi’s performance (which lasted over an hour) of enraged-turned-defeated creature is straight QUALITY. Just try not to whimper as they poke a stick at his limp Garfield body and wrap his fuzzy mascot ass all up in that net. SADS. Makes me wanna call up ASPCA. Someone get Sarah McLachlan on the phone, stat! Also, I wonder if Tama Zoo is hiring…

via nyc barstool sports

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