The Cash Warren Complex

Another poor sap with outdated Warriors merchandise.

Another poor sap with outdated Warriors merchandise.

You see it all the time: walking down the street, at a cafe, in da club. The Cash Warren Complex. Simply put, its a hot girl with a boyfriend that is a tool, a douchebag, or just plain Fugly. There’s even an entire blog devoted to the phenomenon: hotchickswithdouchebags.com. Cause there’s only two answers any guy should reply with to the question, “Who’s good enough for Jessica Alba?”

1. No One.

2. Me.

Why am I writing this now? Well, a few Woody Allen films and a stroll through Brooklyn Heights reminded me of these type of douches. And I originally gave Cash Warren a grace period for being a Baron Davis/Warriors fan, (they played high school ball together at Crossroads in Santa Monica). But that ended 2 years ago, and now Davis is a Clipper… so the gloves are off.

4 Responses to “The Cash Warren Complex”

  1. I used to be a diehard Jess fan but then Cash “what the eff am i famous four” Warren happened and I left her behind.
    I wrote a post on how my girl crush on her died out http://unknowntheartist.wordpress.com/2008/10/28/girl-crushes-dont-last-forever/

  2. [...] A Chinese girl who wants to look like a Latina who wants to look like a white girl. Well, they do already have some things in common: A desire to look like an entirely different race and an aversity towards breaking things off with douchey men. [...]

  3. [...] Reverse Cash Warren Complex AzN has written about his spitefulness towards Cash Warren in the past. The theory is, no one is good enough to date Jessica Alba. So when I was watching this [...]

  4. Omg he looks so ugly in that pic! Lmao! I couldn’t stop laughing he looks like one of those ugly immigrant dudes you see at walmart and I’m half hispanic so I’m not saying that out of racism he’s just ugly! Don’t let his smiling pictures deceive you!

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