People Who Shop at Ruehl Should Not Be Allowed on Virgin America Flights

I had everything planned out. Get on the plane at 11 pm from SFO to JFK. Flip on the TV just in time to watch the 2:30 am East Coast feed of ABDC. Order an OJ from the TV menu for the Vitamin C. And kick back and earn my $240 from our ABDC pool. Except the only channel that didn’t work was MTV. And then there was you.

You were really workin that AzN urban (black tights) hipster (powder blue American Apparel hoodie) cowboy (boots) look. And your white bf. Asics and $80 Ruehl t-shirt. The best was when he took off his shoes and socks. I really hoped he would, cause I love taking cross country red-eyes with the smell of white boy foot odor emanating from the aisle seat. And I also really liked your occasional glances at me, seeking my approval. I didn’t look at you at all (I’ve learned long ago to be satisfied with glances from the periphery) because:

A. I don’t give a fuck, like you do (apparently).
B. I was too busy cursing the blurred image of Mario Lopez introducing Beat Freaks and Qwest to even bother paying attention to you until now, as I await the worst aspect of a Virgin America flight: baggage claim (1 hour to get bags? Really?).
C. My Tylenol PM kicked in just then, luckily enough

Thanks also for allowing me to wake up periodically and seeing you two sleep on top of eachother. If I hadn’t enjoyed my sushi dinner that night, I would have tried to yak.

Now, where is that craigslist missed connections category for “you ruined my day”?.

4 Responses to “People Who Shop at Ruehl Should Not Be Allowed on Virgin America Flights”

  1. hilarious. thanks for that solid rant.

  2. travp16 Says:

    hahaha, awesome.

  3. [...] bunch of various stuff, including comics, the remnants of colonialism, and…ding ding…IR!  It’s definitely a new take on things.  I like the fact that they’re snarky and [...]

  4. interesting post but wha..?… why tarnish the AzN brand by connecting some chick who likes it interracial to it.

    I didnt know that people who are so ashamed of the yellow star on their face that they want to become one with “The Man” were actually secretly proud of being Asian aka AzN.

    Theres a difference between Asian and AzN, all AzNs are Asian/Yellow, but not all Asians are AzN.

    AzN represents the formation of a Pan-Asian identity for politically aware people of Asian descent in the “west”. It aint got nothing to do with people who prefer vanilla over GOLD!!

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