BicoastalBitchin's Weblog

Some posts just write themselves. Behold: the greatest product to ever grace the loins of man:

e-MANcipate! is “a project to accelerate the acceptance of male pantyhose as a regular clothing item……it looks nice.” And how! I think they say it best: It is rather like illustrating a man’s legs …

My head is swimming with questions! Do the hose provide more junk support? What kind of designs and colors are favored by mantyhose wearers? Do these guys still get chicks? What the fawk?

Thus follows a gchat between myself and the exquisite JRad of Man Plus fame, who told me about the site:

Booga:
Are they being for real?

JRad:
Like so many things on the internets, I’m not sure if it’s real or
not.  It does seem a little too earnest and straight-from-hose to be a
joke.
My favorite part is the the headline at the bottom:
“Is pink pantyhose TOO femme?”
No, actually, pink pantyhose is just the right amount of femme, thank you

Boogs:  or how to put on your male pantyhose without DESTROYING it!
i.e. poking a hole in it with yr wang

JRad:
Step 1. Make sure you are free of erection.

Boogs:  Step 2. apply lotion on your hands and clip those
fingernails. Epecially the coke pinky.

Jrad:
step 3. Avoid spicy foods and legumes.  blowing out your mantyhose is
easier than you think!

The philosophy and practice of the manhosiery movement is well-documented throughout the site:
We’ve been experimenting – and still experimenting – with different styles of hose, making our models try them on and ‘forcing’ the stylist to fit it together, but it’s been a great surprise that even hosiery that is thought to be very femmy could go together with an average outfit without making the whole outfit femmy at all.

 No, not at all. God, what I would give to be a fly on the wall at that fashion shoot.

Guys could really show off their legs in a manly way, and make the fashion palette more colorful. And apparently: White pantyhose with floral patterns make you look like a man.

OMFG yes!!!

And peep the delightful Design O’ the Week: a whimsical neo-Victorian doily pattern. Goes great with denim!

e-MANcipate! also thoughtfully provides a guide (kinda NSFW) on how to properly put on the pantyhose. Along with provoking questions including the above-referenced: “Is pink pantyhose TOO femmy for men?” and “Why do men wear pantyhose?” Which, if answered correctly, may have prevented the existence of this site.

You can even buy their book: “27 Ways of Wearing Pantyhose as a Man”. What’s also interesting is that e-MANcipate doesn’t even have any mantyhose available for sale – only links to companies that do. This “movement” is run by people who seem to consider mantyhose issues on equal footing with save the whales or civil rights. It’s like some twisted “men’s lib” or “new man” mentality. Like when I was in high school and all the white hippie dudes starting showing up in skirts, and then held a (I shit you not) class walk-out in protest against some esoteric school rule forbidding their right to be free and breezy twixt the legs. And hell yeah, I joined their cause – because I got to skip algebra, son!

But maybe I just have a stick up my ass from oversubscribing to dominant gender norms. After all, as the site argues: What about gender equality? And by the way, are all the women who wear trousers crossdressers?  Things that make you go Hmmmm…

Any mantyhose readers out there – please, for the lub of jeebus – enlighten me.

This entry was posted on January 10, 2009 at 6:59 pm and is filed under WTF?! with tags emancipate, hosiery, Mantyhose, pantyhose, WTF?!. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.